If any of you are wondering
what it’s like to be a new parent, then take note of the fact that it’s been
six months since my last post. At some point, life becomes less of crossing
things off a ‘to do’ list and more about triaging what’s really important.
(What day is it today? Have I
showered? Am I wearing underwear? Did I kiss Grant enough today? Does he know I
love him? What’s for dinner? Do we need milk/diapers/wipes/bananas? Am I doing
this right? Is he “normal”? Do I care? Is that dirt or a tan?).
So, in honor of making it
mostly alive through the first year, I’m going to give you all a fast and furious
update via a little play on some parenting clichés…
“He’s so precious!”
Yes,
thank you, he is. Obviously, I find Grant to be the cutest, smartest, baby
ever. In the whole world. Over all of human existence. Simply, Grant is the
most amazing thing I’ve ever created; and, barring my wedding day, his birth is
one of my most cherished moments in life.
“He looks just like you!”
Actually,
we beg to differ. We think he looks just like…himself. Yes, he has my forehead and
Matt’s blue eyes. Sure, there is a pretty strong resemblance to our maternal
grandfathers. However, overall, Grant looks like Grant.
“It’s just a phase.”
It is!
For the most part, Grant has entered and exited phases without ever looking
back. Let’s review some of his phases:- Exorcist-style puking, relentless shrieking and screeching, and little to no restful sleeping
The answer to this one is part time and patience—after the first three months, EVERYTHING gets better—and part experimentation. We tried acid reflux meds (didn’t work at all) and different brands and types of formula (nothing worked and we eventually went back to regular old Enfamil). What worked best was a foam sleeping wedge (plus, diligent sleep training at six months) , Dr. Brown’s wide-mouth bottles, and rigorous burping. - Chewing on the edges of area rugs
Thankfully, this phase ended after teething was in fully swing. But, for a while there, we had to cover the edges with toy bins, blankets, tables, chairs, or ourselves to block his advances on any carpet. - Yanking on his wiener
Although Grant is done with the violent, seemingly painful phase where it appeared that he wanted to rip off his poor little Johnson, theoretically, wiener yanking will continue in some form long into his adult, male life. - Grinding his teeth
This phase can’t end fast enough. The sound of him rubbing his front eight teeth together makes me physically nauseous.
“Boys will be boys.”
Most
of the time, Grant turns into a filthy dirtball after what seems like only
moments after a bath. He likes chewing on mulch, foam rubber, and kitchen utensils.
He is in love with pushing around his trucks. He’s loud. He’s a destroyer of
block towers and a conqueror of anything lying in his path. He loves to climb
and attempt to break anything he gets his hands on. But, with any amount of
luck, and in light of the fact that he spends every day with a sassy nanny and
a headstrong mommy, and has one practical, industrious, father, one day he will
be a smart, well spoken, gentleman who respects women, has excellent manners,
and can figure out anything.
“Enjoy these times, because
they grow up so fast!”
A
small sample of things he’s learned since the last time I wrote: Crawling,
pulling himself up, climbing up the stairs, diving headfirst off furniture,
pinching, grabbing hold of any type of food no matter the size or shape,
understanding the concept of a spoon and fork (although the food doesn’t always
make it into his mouth), blowing raspberries, sticking his tongue out, laughing
at himself and others, kissing, high-fiving, helping get dressed and undressed,
opening doors, sleeping through the night, self soothing, babbling (current
sounds include ‘ma’, ‘da’, ‘ba’, and ‘na’)
“Kids strengthen a marriage.”
Having
child has taught Matt and me so much: At times, it has tested the bedrock of
our relationship; and, other times, it has reaffirmed our friendship and love
for one another. We’ve learned a lot about the old adage, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” We’re learning more and more about the boundaries
of our patience, creativity, resourcefulness, and energy. Most importantly, as
we observe each other as parents, we are able to absorb both positive and
negative lessons. On one hand, we can share new ‘tricks of the trade’ with each
other; and, on the other hand, watching the other person lose their patience,
scream and yell, submit to a rotten mood, or just generally take out their bad
day on Grant, we can see how we must look and sound when we have those same
moments.
“It’s important to take care of
yourself.”
Now,
more than ever, I make time to cook crazy new meals every week and go to yoga
at least twice. Matt enjoys walking and riding his bike, taking some time in
the man cave (read: outdoor shed), and doing a house project or mowing the
lawn. We make a conscious effort to ‘switch off’ every once in a while to give
each other a little alone time. Every parent knows that there are just some
times when you don’t want to look at your child, touch or hold them, or even
think about being a parent. Even if it only means a quiet shower on the
weekend, a solo grocery trip, or 15 minutes of uninterrupted dish washing,
taking care of yourself is essential to being able to take care of your family.
“We’ve all been there.”
It’s important to give yourself a little slack. You can
always find someone out there who has been through what you’re experiencing;
and, through the magic of the Internet and social media, they are only a few
keystrokes away.
We are also fortunate to be surrounded by a huge network of
loving family and friends. Miss Beth is a diamond in the rough when it comes to
nannies. Uncle Chris is the ‘Cooper Whisperer’. Gram and Pap Keefer are whatever
they need to be—relief pitchers, spoilers, helpers, healers, mediators—and we are
grateful that they live so close. Grandma Cooper’s love for monkey extends to
the moon and back. Our neighbors are incredible, and a constant source of
advice and hand-me-downs. In short, we couldn’t be happier that we made the
decision to move back east.
“Oh it gets easier.”
No, it doesn’t. It just gets different.
“Parenting is hard.”
Yes,
it is. But it is also wonderful, awesome, rewarding, fulfilling, lovely, happy, great, good, and great.
As time passes me by, I
remember less of the hard times and more of the god times. I’m learning how to
hone my very own selective memories. The feeling of Grant’s puke sliding down
my back already pales in comparison to what it felt like the first time he said
‘Ma’ and knew it was me or every time he gives me a big, sloppy kiss. The sound
of his infant cry is a distant echo to the sound of his gleeful toddler laugh. Three things have never changed: I love myself; I love my husband; and, I love my son. At
the end of the day:
All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.
