1-Year Ago Today...

...I had back surgery.

Before surgery, I had the worst year of my life. I was in pain every day, which was just icing on the cake for a number of personal and professional issues. In fact, when I first arrived in Pittsburgh, I got ‘2010’ tattooed in Roman numerals on my wrist, so I could always remember that I made it through such a rough year, as a stronger and smarter person.

Since surgery, everything has changed. 

In April, my husband (then fiancée) and I quit our jobs and moved back east to Pittsburgh. I was deemed “fused” at an ortho here during my 6-month follow-up appointment. I finished eight weeks of physical therapy merely days before we left for our 2-week wedding extravaganza in up-state New York. We were married July 30. Shortly after Labor Day, we found the house of our dreams, and became homeowners in mid-October. Throughout the late-summer and early-fall, we took three mini-honeymoons. And, now we are embarking on starting a family of our own.

And I have done all of that without being in pain.

I was lucky enough to have a talented surgeon, Dr. Doerr, who is generally a wonderful person. From my first appointment to my last post-surgery follow-up in February (before we left AZ), I was treated with respect and kindness by Dr. Doerr and his staff. Every step of the way, I was comfortable and informed – two essential coping mechanisms. I even was able to help a teenage acquaintance here in Pittsburgh through her own journey with the same surgery by passing along some of the same information and wisdom I learned during my experience. I am incredibly happy that the path I took in 2010 lead me to Dr. Doerr. 

Today, I am whole again. Literally.

Our Kind of Town

I've already put in 10 hours between both jobs today, and moved as many boxes as I can - so I thought I'd write a blog about our trip to Chicago in October...

We flew in on a chilly, blustery night, and hopped on the Orange line. The trip from Midway to the Hotel Felix was uneventful. After we unpacked, we had some time to kill. Matt turned into an iron fool, ironing everything he brought in one fell swoop. Turns out our friends couldn't meet up. After one failed attempt to get pizza, we ordered a Chicago Classic from Lou Malnati's. It was less of a pizza, and more of a tower of flavors, with a dish of dough, a blanket of mozzarella, a river of tomatoes, and an entire layer of uninterrupted patty-style sausage. At 1am on a Thursday in Chicago, we tasted real pizza for the first time. Then, we passed out.

Friday started with coffee, fruit and pastries in the room. We headed out for a cool, brisk, 16-block walk to the Sears (well, it's Willis now, but I refuse to call it that) Tower. We waited in a line to get in the lobby then a line to watch a documentary then a line to get in the elevator then, finally, made it to the Skydeck. What a view! We even ventured out onto "The Ledge," a glass box that lets you walk out of the side of the building and look all the way down to the street. Even though the price was a bit steep and the wait was pretty long, the Sears Tower is totally worth it.

From there, we took a taxi to Navy Pier, where we walked and walked and walked some more, and then rewarded ourselves with a pumpkin beer and a Chicago dog at the Landshark beer garden. For dessert, we had stuff churros. That's right, you heard me: churros filled with chocolate and strawberry! We actually walked so much that I wore a hole in my sock and quickly developed a blister. I bought $7 men's Jameson brand dress socks at the Irish store at the pier, and we headed back to the hotel on foot.

Before heading out for the night, I helped Matt only sort of bomb his Excel test for temping. We went to a Chines/Japanese fusion restaurant called Jia's, and had an incredible dinner. Afterwards, we met our friends Caleb and Anjali at the Kingston Mines for some blues music and $27 cocktails. We saw Vance Kelly & the Backstreet Candy Lickers, and the main act, Big James & the Chicago Playboys. The music was awesome and Big James was big. There were people of all ages and colors and ages all together all at once to enjoy the night of music. We said our goodbyes, headed to the hotel, and had a 3am pizza - this one not worth noting, however.

Saturday was a somewhat lazy morning. We finally got going and hopped on a long, angry line of tourists to hop on the Chicago Trolley. We hopped off at the Chicago Theatre, and wandered around the theatre district snapping photos of old-school signs. We even saw a humungous, outside Picasso sculpture. Our line-jumping karma was quickly evened out by a crabby bus driver who claimed our tickets were invalid. We waited around forever, straightened out the nonsense, and then caught a ride to Millenium Park with Caleb and Anjali.

We saw Cloud Gate--or, better known as "The Bean"--had our second Chicago dog; walked around in circles and past and through Grant Park; sat by Monroe Harbor; parted ways again; took forever to find the trolley stop; and, finally hopped on - determined, this time, to not hop off again and to sightsee all that Chicago had to offer on the beautiful day. We cruised down Michigan Avenue, saw the Hilton and Sheraton and other gorgeous buildings, wove through museum campus, saw most of the Magnificent Mile, a larger-than-life Marilyn Monroe statue, and the Wrigley Building. We hopped off at the Water Tower to see Caleb and Anjali one last time. After saying goodbye for the last time, we caught our last trolly of the day, where, low and behold, the same grouchy bus driver awaited us. But, Shirley redeemed herself by letting us get off the bus near our hotel instead of at the actual stop.

We relaxed at the hotel for a bit, had a glass of wine, and headed out for dinner. I took Matt to Fogo de Chao for dinner. Although this restaurant is a carnivore's heaven, the salad bar is incredible in itself. As if starting with a city block of salad choices isn't enough, don't' forget the addictive warm cheese bread, crispy polenta, garlic mashed potatoes, and fried bananas. But, of course, the main event is meat, meat, meat, and more meat. If you haven't tried a Brazilian steakhouse before, make this your first stop. You will eat like Caesar. 

We took our dessert back to the hotel and turned around to head out for the last stop of the day: the John Hancock Building. Although we had to wait in another line, drinks at the Signature Room are a must. We ogled each other over wine and dim lights. I took in the best view of the city from the Ladies room. We finished the night with an un-metered cab ride, ESPN, and dessert.

Sunday started with breakfast at Yolk with our friend Shorty. This was another incredible meal. I surprised Matt with a 60-minute couples massage, and then we headed to the Shedd Aquarium. We found yet another long line to wait in, so we ate another Chicago dog and enjoyed the blue skies. Other than the foreigners behind us, who were standing inches away for entire wait and constantly bumping in to us, this aquarium is worth any kind of waiting in line. We wandered around for three hours, taking in all of the frogs, fish, seahorses, and jellies. We both became shutter bugs and happily snapped away all day.

We went back to the hotel, watched some football, and headed out for dinner. We walked to Gino's East, where we had a stupendous Caesar salad and a deep-dish that came in second to Lou's. The ambiance is worth the trip though, as every single square inch of Gino's is covered in names and messages and graffiti of all kinds scrawled on the walls. We finished the evening with one comically small sundae and the comforting rudeness of the diner wait staff at Ed Debevic's.

On Monday, we said goodbye to Chicago. Breakfast in the room...taxi to the Orange line...short trip to Midway...delayed plane...and back to the real world. Fortunately, even four hours of spirit-crushing, post-vacation errands couldn't ruin our day. That night, we received the keys to our new home. What a way to end our trip to Chicago!

wish i had arms like ganesh

wake up pack Matt's lunch go to desk early stare at computer screens skip lunch to cram in some grading call utility companies change address *again* rear-end brand new spitfire review estimate for damages drive loaner ford go grocery shopping do some grading pilates zumba personal trainer ignore aching knees thank god for pain-free back crank up heating pad do more grading find clothes for fall try on 500 pairs of shoes look for winter coat donate blood wait for no one to show up at online office hours conference calls skype calls emails emails more grading more grading endless dig up endless email attachments for mortgage plan for trip to chicago can't wait to see chris find time to paint 

patch the fireplace shim and plane the doors caulk the basement windows shop for area rugs refinish furniture grading grading grading grading grading grading stretch an evening with chuck palahnuik wake up at 4am for an all-day meeting in virginia submit second academic status report grading pilates sleep in steelers vs. patriots zumba personal trainer laundry groceries to do list move in visit with eamonn and gretchen watch the ravens lose? take a deep breath wade through november too remember that 2011 had more life, love and happiness that 2010 could have ever dreamed of hug matt

Home

As the title of my blog suggests, there really is no place like home. And, as you all know, Matt and I have been without a home since April. 

Don't get me wrong - we've been happier then ever in our cozy little attic retreat, eating dinner with my parents, and living a simple existence. But we also terribly missed having more than one room, cooking dinner together, and having our own domain.

With the summer of chaos and the wedding, my trip to Phoenix, our visit to Abke family picnic near Bowling Green, and the countless other days here and there that quickly filled up with obligations, it has been a whirlwind six months of hard work and little rest. The payoff, however, has been huge.

The houses in New York are finished. We're happily married, and I'm legally a Cooper now. I'm working two full-time jobs: primarily, as an Outreach & Communications Specialist for the IJIS Institute (I telecommute from Pittsburgh), and, as a Faculty Associate for Arizona State University, teaching Business Writing iCourses (online). Matt has been applying for one job a day, and is, hopefully, slowly starting to figure out what he wants to do when he grows up. And, last but not least, we found a home.

I don't want to jinx anything, as the inspection is later today, but the house is pretty much exactly what we were looking for in our first home. 

The house sits on a side-walk and tree-lined street. It has a front yard that is fully landscaped, and a front porch, complete with a swing.

The first floor has hardwood floors and a wood-burning fireplace. The living seems small but, as with other rooms in the house, the current homeowners prefer huge, heavy, overstuffed or ornate, bulky furniture. We don't even own some of these types of pieces yet...

The wood-burning fireplace has new brick, but its original mantle. And, since we have an essentially unlimited supply of wood (courtesy of Keelen Bros., Inc.), we can save on some heating costs in the winter.

There's room for a formal dining room, which we can't quite fill up yet; however, it will be wonderful to be able to have people over for dinner...and to have somewhere to eat it together.

The kitchen has been completely remodeled, including appliances, and has a bit more room than I'm used to. I just like that there's a window by the sink, instead of the dark, gloomy apartment kitchens we've had in the past.

There is a cute little breakfast nook / mud room, with a door to the back yard. I imagine this will be the perfect place for future kids to do future homework :)

The master bedroom, again, feels small, but it's pretty over-decorated (behind this photo are two huge dressers *and* and vanity). There is a walk-in closet of sorts, though I'm sure, like most folks in cold weather climates, we'll have to keep some seasonal clothes in the basement.

 This lovely pink room is one of the candidates for new paint. We're not sure which room will serve as what, but, one will be reserved for a nursery down the road; and, the other will be some variation of a guest room / library / reading room.

This equally lovely peach room is the third of the three bedrooms that is horribly over-crowded with huge, heavy furniture. The corners are so tight in this room, you could practice 3-point turns!

The back yard is completely fenced in, with a concrete patio, another small grass area, more landscaped beds, and a heated shed. I can just see the summer dinners outside, a dog running around, flowers in bloom, and my hubby in the shed, organizing camping gear or fiddling with a lawnmower...

Matt and I are overjoyed at the idea of living in Oakmont - right behind the Oakmont Bakery no less! We can't wait to be in a real neighborhood again: in walking distance from the cornucopia of shops on Allegheny River Boulevard, close to the river (oh, water, how we've missed you so), and soaking in the cobblestone streets, street lamps, and quiet coziness of a place that's not quite city and not quite suburbs.

We are anxious to start our lives together, to start a family, to start new memories - to come home to each other every day.

Busy Bee

Well, I can't say that I'm going to like these new hours--up at 6, at the computer(s) by 7:30--yes, two computers at the same time: one for ASU and one for IJIS--no break for lunch, forced break for dinner, back to the computer for some ASUing before bedtime, with a pinch of reading before I pass out. But, I'm young and energetic, and have the opportunity to make some money doing what I love. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

I'm also adding some physical activity to the mix - finally! Yay! I'm not only pain free and almost back on track, I'm starting to get ahead of the curve. I have a few sessions with a trainer to get started. Then, in a few weeks, I start my cheapo, Fox Chapel Area Adult Education classes: Zumba and pilates. It feels great to get a good workout in, and to not be drowning in painkillers and ice packs.

We started the house hunting process, and would like to be in a house by Christmas. But, if not, we'll settle for any time before feet and feet of snow show up. Matt is combing the Internet for jobs, trying to apply for at least one a day. And the kitties are finally settled in, loving the house to roam and starting to even love each other.

This weekend we're off to Bowling Green to attend the annual Abke family picnic. I get to meet Marcia's extended family AND we get to spend some time with Chris B. Matt hasn't been back to BG in a while, so we plan to walk around campus, soak up the big changes, visit Finders, eat at the grill, revel in our college days. The following weekend, I have to drive to Virginia for a week at IJIS. I can't wait to get to know everyone a little better BUT I have to drive on 9/11, which means I have to find somewhere to watch the Steelers @ Ravens game. Because you know missing that game isn't an option.

We've got a bunch of fun stuff ahead of us: a Pirates game at the end of September (with a free Steve Miller Band show); a VIP signing Chuck P. "Damned" reading and Steelers vs. Patriots at the end of October; Buckeyes vs. Penn State in November (and a visit with an old college neighbor). Let's not forget my Dad's huge friggin pumpkin for Halloween or Christmas lights at Hartwood or endless bowls of chili and spaghetti all winter. What comes after all that? The Groundhog's Party!

That's about it for now. I'm all caught up on grading. Relaxing after my first workout session. Watching Steelers preseason football and Bob Pompeani. Matt's got a dog resting on his foot. Home...

Such a Perfect Day, Epilogue

For the first few days after coming home, and for my mom who was still at the pond, we all couldn’t seem to get enough sleep, and wandered through each day confused and without direction. After four months of wedding-and house-related, deadline-driven tasks, life appeared to be without purpose. We slept and ate and slept and ate, and tried to catch up on life a little.

For my Dad, he has to get his business back on track. For my Mom, she has to cram in some genuine R&R before her new school year.

For Matt, it is time to get serious about the job search. He is researching and interviewing and fretting about needing a new suit. He is trying to figure out what to do when he grows up. And, with his 30th birthday approaching, I’m sure he feels the pressing need to identify a new industry and get started with a fresh career choice.

For me, I had to travel to Arizona for a long weekend with friends, followed by an entire day of meetings at Arizona State University. Between now and December, I will have two full-time jobs. The first—teaching a full load of four sections of Business Writing for ASU—started today, and will be the beginning, lunch, and end to my day of telecommuting. The second—Outreach & Communications Specialist for the IJIS Institute—starts full time at the end of August. Although it will be a long haul of intense hours, I’m happy to be creating a situation where Matt can calmly and purposefully find himself a job.

For the both of us, The Coopers, we are meeting with the bank to discuss home financing options this week, and we are meeting with a real estate agent this weekend to look at some of the properties that are appealing to us. We’d love to be in a home of our own by the end of the year, so we can embark upon starting a family. Otherwise, exploring Pittsburgh is Task #1.

And this brings us to the end of the wedding series. I’ve really enjoyed rehashing everything. There are some videos I will eventually share—mainly, of the ceremony itself—but I want to enjoy my own, private memories for a little while longer before I see the actual video version. With the two full-time jobs starting, you might expect a bit of radio silence from me.

Until the next blog…

Such a Perfect Day, Part 7

We spent the three days after the wedding sleeping, beaching and eating—all necessary requirements of a post-wedding recovery regiment. We wandered around aimlessly, with no projects to complete. It’s funny that after the wedding and house building major tasks were finished, we all sort of felt like our lives had no meaning. We were sleepy and confused when the day had no decisions to be made other than what to put in the cooler.

The Wednesday after the wedding brought only the second day of rain in the two weeks. And, of course, it was the day of the friends/family/neighbors picnic. We cleaned up the house a bit; Dad and Bill worked on what would be a mastery of pulled pork; and, we enjoyed doing generally nothing for most of the day. Late afternoon, guests started to arrive, and another incarnation of wedding celebration began.

We drank wine, listened to music, talked with everyone, gave tours of the new house, had people sign our engraveable “guest book” frame, and at a wonderful inside picnic of sorts. When the rain stopped, we all eventually found ourselves on the deck, telling stories about our childhood – the Keefers reminiscing about Poppy and Nana, and the five siblings and their crazy adventures.

The Frenches, The Coopers & The Keefers

Everyone filtered out, we cleaned up, and then crashed and burned. Matt and I had decided to go on an impromptu, one-day, quasi-honeymoon, road trip the next day. We woke up, threw a few things in a bag, and headed out. We took the long, but scenic route to the 1000 Islands region. I hadn’t done this trip since I was a kid. We took the 2 Nation Tour on the Uncle Sam Boat Tour.

2 1/4 Hours – This international tour will take you on a 22 mile round-trip through American and Canadian waters – what is considered the ‘heart’ of the 1000 Islands. This trip will give you the best overall view of this truly unique geographical area shared by two nations. We cruised the St. Lawrence River, over historic sunken wrecks, and by magnificent summer homes of the rich and famous. We learned local historical facts and folk lore, and about the area’s geology, environment and native wildlife. At the end of the cruise, we disembarked at Heart Island for a self-guided tour of Boldt Castle.

After buying ice cream and knickkancks, we headed back to our glorious hotel room at the Edgewood Resort, where we just stared at the crystal clear river, enjoying the boats, scenery and general beauty of the day. Our balcony was right at the water’s edge, so we could really feel at peace after our crazy wedding weeks. We took out time doing everything, eventually heading down to the hotel restaurant for an extremely leisurely Italian meal. We finished our evening with a bottle of 2005 Carmel Road Pinot Noir back in the room.

View from our balcony

The next morning, we found a horribly slow and only slightly serviceable diner for breakfast, then headed back to Sandy Pond. Even though it was just for a day, it was really great to get away, just the two of us, and have that moment as the sort of final memory of the wedding festivities.

As soon as we got home, we packed our stuff and then changed into our bathing suits for the final few hours at the beach. This is always the worst part about the pond…leaving it. But, we were able to enjoy beautiful weather and a wonderful last swim.

This is actually from a different trip, but is a perfect example of how you feel when it's time to leave...

We headed home, packed dad’s car, and left for Pittsburgh. We had a generally silent ride home, arriving around midnight, exhausted and sort of sad.

 We went to sleep that night knowing we were back in the real world…

Such a Perfect Day, Part 6

After the reception, everyone headed back to the house. After changing into my bonfire attire, we all congregated on the deck to watch some fireworks. 

I'm ready for the bonfire; and, apparently, Caleb-son is too

My Dad, quintessential firebug, must have been in hog heaven, shooting off fireworks to celebrate his daughter’s wedding. When there was nothing left to set off, Dad shot off a flare, which is hilarious, considering it typically means, “Help, my boat is sinking.”

Dad loves the prepackaged "finale cakes" - and bought a Suburban full

Dad; or, "A boy and his cannon" :)

With nothing left to explode, we started the bonfire. But this wasn’t just any bonfire; it was a designer fire. Why, you ask? The fire ring, recently built by some boys who helped during the “finish the house before the wedding” madness, is big enough that you have to actually get in it to tend the fire. The fire was a monumental teepee, perfectly engineered, and surrounded by red mulch. Yes, my father mulched the fire pit. It was a perfect fire to celebrate.

Fireworks + bonfire = legendary

With the fire burning and music playing, we pulled chairs, deck furniture and hay bales around the circle, and enjoyed the beautiful night. The Milky Way was so bright and clear, it could have been straight out of a textbook. The temperature was nice and cool. And the beers, whiskey, margueritas, and other libations greased the wheels of good conversation.

Pinkelman pointing out the Milky Way; or, disco dancing; or, trying to figure out where the SOS flare came from...

We had our friends and family around us, everyone animated and happy and glad to be together. I had wonderful moments with Sarah and Keith, Joe, Teresa, Chris (who was drunker than I’ve ever seen him!), and our college friends who helped close the night out with us. I reminisced about the parties Matt and I had thrown up to that point—our fantasy football buddies coming over to watch an entire Saturday of the NFL draft; our “no family allowed” second Thanksgiving for our friends; my thirtieth birthday—I realized that the wedding, the reception, the bonfire – these combined to be a singular, legendary night.

Cousins: Topher, Lesley, and Jack

Bro & Sis

Before bedtime, Sarah and Teresa and I pulled out the 1,287 bobby pins hidden in our hair. As things began to wind down, and people dispersed, Matt and I dragged ourselves to bed. We laughed and giggled and talked about how our day was exactly like we had always intended it to be.

The next morning, I woke up early to call Rainbow Shores, where we would go for brunch. Although they normally, stop serving brunch at 11am, I had spoken with the executive chef, and much like having the gocart track all to ourselves, I convinced the chef to keep cooking brunch until noon. We pulled together any stragglers who wanted food, and headed out.

View from brunch

Rainbow Shores

Brunch was wonderful, with tables outside and in the shade, right on Lake Ontario. The service was horribly slow, but the food and water and juice revived us all. With our bellies full, and our minds fairly awake, we headed back to the house to suit up for an afternoon at the beach…

The long hiatus is over

[This is my first poem in probably five years. Thank you Matt Cooper, for marrying me. Also, the vibrant summer flowers in Phoenix helped.]

A rose by any other name

is a sunflower,

a sleepy tilt toward morning.

I stretch my petals,

trying on different labels—

carefully soaking each one off,

the words in my mouth,

lips pursed around letters.

Until, one day,

the paper feels snug on my jar.

The name is new, but familiar—

so many perfect rows of provisions.

I greet the day

with my own definition.

Now, there are two sunflowers—

an expression of this secret garden.

We grow like the rise/set

of a confident horizon.

It’s been years since I

organized the harvest,

left a log

of facts.

1.       Courage grows strong at a wound.

2.       Glory is the reward of valor.

I am a sunflower, a river.

I am a daughter, a woman.

I am a Cooper.