Dear Mini

Dear Mini:

We’re finally settled into the house: the art is hanging; the big projects are finished; and, we’re learning more and more about the garden and the quirkiness of owning an 83-year-old home. Your bed is clean and comfy. Your room is ready. We still have to figure out a few things, small and large—how to put up the pack and play, what to put in the diaper bag, how our lives will change—but we are as ready as we’ll ever be to welcome you into the family.

I’m calm as a Hindu cow these days. After the turmoil of 2010…the fast-paced sheer joy of 2011 – quitting our jobs, moving across the country, finishing the camp, getting married, starting new jobs, and buying a house…getting pregnant so quickly and easily…it seems the past 37 weeks has alternately gone so fast and crept so slowly by us.

I was never sick or nauseous with you. I didn’t experience so many of the seemingly awful aspects of pregnancy. In fact, I feel healthier carrying you than I have in a very long time. Between working out with my trainer Donna and doing prenatal yoga, I am finally back in tune with my body – no small feat after major back surgery less than two years ago. Of course, these last few weeks are a marathon of sorts—aching knees and hips, restless nights, and all sorts of new changes with you—however, I really can’t complain. I just hope I’m not enjoying a wonderful pregnancy in exchange for a horrifying labor and delivery.

We’ve had so much fun preparing for you, playing music for you, talking to you, feeling you move and grow, listing possible names for you, and just figuring out how to raise you. The day I married your father, I never thought I could ever feel happier. As we get closer and closer to your arrival, I know that you will change everything in a way we could have never imagined.

A friend once told me that having a child makes life turn from black and white to technicolor. I think of that same moment in The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy steps into Oz for the first time…and the rest of the story is a journey full of music and friends and lessons. Now, we are standing at the beginning of our own yellow brick road. Along the way, you’ll meet Dante and Mim, Grandma and Grandpa Cooper, Granny and Pap Keefer, Aunt Teresa, and Uncle Chris.

Something deep inside is telling me that there’s nothing to worry about and that I’ll be a great mom. I also know that your father will be an excellent dad. Together, we promise to show you all the world has to offer and to love you forever. We have built a strong, unshakable foundation for our family – and you’re the next piece! We’re so excited to meet you!

XOXO

Our Radiohead Manifesto

It’s hard to put into words what Radiohead means to Matt and me, but I thought I’d try…

In the Beginning

Our love affair with the band started fairly early for both of us. For me, I was in seventh grade. My science lab partner, Maria—then, Matyjaszewska; now, Mendoski (funny, she was married a day before we just saw Radiohead in DC)—gave me a tape copy of Pablo Honey, which I played out so quickly that the album was one of the first I purchased when I owned my first CD player. After that, Radiohead didn’t have a sophomore slump and obviously didn’t fail to please with OK Computer. For Matt, he cites driving around in his car in high school, listening to classics like “Creep” and “Karma Police,” influenced him to buy The Bends.

For both of us, our college years and the release of Kid A cemented what would become a lifelong love affair with the band. I remember the first time I listened to Kid A (October 2000), I just didn’t “get” it. It was such a huge departure from their “sound,” and an innovative foray into what was not just a complete change in their identity, but a huge step for electronic music as a whole. But, as with many great concepts, the more I listened, the more I heard and absorbed and learned. By Christmastime, I was on the cusp of falling head over heels for the album. That winter break, home from college, my parents were renovating the attic. I stayed in one small room, on a mattress on the floor, with a space heater, a suitcase, and a stereo. Those nights, lying in a quiet, empty corner of the attic, listening to the album over and over and over again, I finally got it. Matt, ever the obsessive music nut himself, got caught up in the national interest for OK Computer that eventually led him to fall in love with Kid A as well.

Amnesiac and Hail to the Thief brought us evidence of the band’s near demise, Yorke’s battle with severe depression, a divided fan base, and a sense that Radiohead had come to an impasse in their collectively differing visions for the band’s future. I consider Amnesiac to be the quintessential B-sides from Kid A (incidentally, props to a certain redheaded Rob for buying me Amnesiac for my 21st birthday); and, Hail to the Thief as an emptying of the coffer that was necessary for the albums to come.

The Story of Us

For those of you who don’t know our story, I offer to briefest version I can summon:

• We met in August 1999, totally randomly, in front of Kohl Hall at Bowling Green State University.
• We quickly became friends, and even worked together as third-shift night guards at Kohl Hall.
• I got my BFA in May 2003, and Matt moved in with me that fall to finish his final semester of undergrad studies.
• In the spring of 2005, Matt moved to Arizona; while, in the fall of 2004, I started grad school at BGSU.
• In between my two years of grad school, during the summer of 2005, I took a legendary, 40-day roadtrip, during which I visited Matt for a week-long respite from driving.
• I loved the southwest so much, that I went back January 2006 for another weekend visit with Matt.
• Nearing the end of grad school, I decided a change of scenery was in order, so I visited Matt in July 2006 after graduating to interview for jobs and scope out an apartment.
• I moved to Arizona in August 2006. By December, Matt and I started down the path of becoming more than just friends.

Blurring the Lines

Four long years after the release of Hail to the Thief, Radiohead released In Rainbows. I readily participated in the controversial “pay what you want” online download; Matt waited to first listen to the album with me, then, true to form, wanted to buy the actual artwork and liner notes. I immediately loved the album. One day, on our way to see The Darjeerling Limited (we also share a love of Wes Anderson movies), I played In Rainbows for Matt. It was around this same time that, after a long and tumultuous 2007, we also finally started officially dating. For this reason, the album resonated with both of us. We both cite the song “House of Cards” as a particularly powerful track:

“I don't wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine”

In addition to In Rainbows, Matt and I spent a lot of nights listening to Kid A – this is “our” album in so many ways.

Radiohead toured In Rainbows during the summer of 2008. With much of our relationship still in limbo and undefined, Matt decided to accompany me to Sandy Pond for a whirlwind vacation. We flew a red-eye on a Wednesday, followed by Matt meeting pretty much my entire extended family, followed by a breakneck roadtrip to Toronto to see Radiohead, followed by a simply magical week together.

Seeing Radiohead in Toronto not only put stars in our eyes for the band, but also for each other. That fall, we moved in together. 2009 and much of 2010 was a rocky road for our relationship, as the transition from friends to partners was rough on both of us. Add in the growing dissatisfaction we both had for our respective jobs, and the result nearly squashed our romance. However, after a some unintentional time apart (I travel almost six weeks straight through May and June for work), a month-long celebration of my 30th birthday, and my back surgery, Matt found himself on one knee, proposing to me.

These Days

In February 2011, Radiohead released The King of Limbs. We first listened to TKOL in our living room in Phoenix and, after our great escape from the desert that March, it came to define the spring leading up to our wedding. In the minutes before our wedding ceremony, we played a few tracks from Christopher O’Reilly’s True Love Waits, a brilliant interpretation of Radiohead classics arranged for piano. At our reception, we, along with some surprised fans and unsuspecting romantics, danced to “House of Cards.” And, as you might guess, we’ve played a number of Radiohead albums in utero for the Mini.

When Radiohead announced a TKOL tour, it naturally made sense that we would go...even though I was pregnant and we knew the concert would take place a mere five weeks before my due date. With the help of Mr. Christian Bloomfield--best friend, best man, best everything extraordinaire--and a total of five laptops, we procured tickets to see Radiohead on June 3 in Washington, DC. From the moment the tickets came in the mail, we virtually held our breath and knocked on wood, evening banning all discussion of the said event.

This past weekend, we traveled to DC for our “babymoon.” We spent some time at the Udvar-Hazy Center; stayed at the historic Morrison-Clark Inn; ate a fantastic Greek mezze dinner at Zaytinya and an equally delicious Chinese dim sum dinner at Ping Pong; and, saw Radiohead for the second time. We drastically underestimated how emotionally draining the concert would be—the months of anticipation, the anxiety over potentially missing the show due to an early baby, and the simple excitement of seeing our favorite band—as we spent two hours in a state of awe-struck, goosebump-covered, euphoria, followed by sheer exhaustion and a comedown of sorts.

The show marked the end of another chapter of story together. We agreed that it is the end of an era – that the concert marked the end of the first incredible chapter of our friendship, romance and future, both with each other and with Radiohead. Sure, our near fanatical love of the band may seem crazy to some of you but, as I’ve tried to illuminate here, it’s not without a good cause and a rich history.

I’ve often thought that if I could love anything half as much as Thom Yorke clearly loves music, then I’d be the happiest woman alive. Well, I do…Matt Cooper…and I am. Now I really get it.

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Two great Radiohead resources: Dead Air Space (official) and Green Plastic (unofficial)

A New Chapter

Well, it seemed like time for a little update - and, who knows if I'll have time to write in the coming weeks.

The nursery is officially finished: the curtains and blinds are up; the crib is dressed; the gifts are washed, organized, assembled, and/or put away; the changing station is ready, complete with a basket of lotions and potions; and, all that's left to add is the mini. We still need to assemble the stroller, figure out car seats, and attempt to set up the pack and play at least once, but nothing major. 

We picked a pediatrician and finished our 2-day baby classes. We took a weekend intensive course through Magee Women's Hospital that included preparing for labor and delivery, lamaze instruction, and a hospital tour. Thanks to our excellent instructor, we learned a TON of stuff. Among other things, we have a first draft of our birth plan, a half-packed hospital bag, and a new sense of calm and confidence about the process. 

We also decided to opt for natural birth. After back surgery, physical therapy, working with a trainer, and prenatal yoga, I've experienced a healthy, pain-free recovery and pregnancy. I just don't like the idea of having done all that work, then getting an epidural and limiting my options for control over my body. Of course, we can't predict how my labor and delivery will unfold, but we believe I am capable of natural childbirth and are not afraid to try.

Next weekend, we are off to Washington, DC for our "babymoon" of sorts, which will include a visit to the Udvar Hazy annex, a relaxing stay at the Morrison-Clark Historic Inn, and premium seats for a Radiohead show. And, since I'm pretty preggo these day, I'm hoping to eat a few wonderful meals.

Generally, we can't for the Mini to arrive. Having decided on middle names very early on, we now have first names whittled down to the top two for each gender - I think we'll know right away as soon as we meet the little one. 

Is it a girl or a boy?

In about six weeks, our lives will change forever. I never thought anything could top the fantastical nature of our story--meeting in college, growing our 13-year friendship, getting married, buying a house--but having a child with Matt is certainly an exciting new chapter that we both are looking forward to reading.

I hope this post finds you all living, loving and laughing!

XO

--Chelsea

Mini in 3D

For those of you who aren't on Facebook, here's some creepy, 3D baby photos:

Good shot of the eyelids and little fist (which appears to be connected to a severed hand) - it's amazing how clear the photo is even though the baby was moving around like crazy!

Great forehead/cheeks and lips shot - though I could do without the blurry umbilical cord in from of the nose.

On Growing Up

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves...for growing up.”  --Quote from The Wonder Years

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A friend of mine (thanks Meredith) posted an article on Facebook called Turning 30: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know, and it felt like I should respond. Though I’m actually turning 32 this year, I was interested to see how I’d answer each of these items. For those of you interested in a little introspection, I also highly recommend a book by Alison James called The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35.

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By 30, you should have…

1.     One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

I honestly can’t say that I don’t have one old boyfriend I can imagine going back to; in fact, I recently removed the last trace of an old flame by un-friending him on Facebook. At this point, there’s just no need to keep in touch with him anymore – I’m happily married, living in a home of our own, and expecting our first child. As far as an old boyfriend who reminds me how far I’ve come (Matt and a few people close to me know which boyfriend this applies to), I thank him for teaching me all about everything I DON’T want in a relationship.

2.     A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

Though we generally don’t place a lot of value in buying big, new, expensive pieces of furniture, I will say that my pull-out bed couch and our California king bed are two wonderfully comfortable items that I’m glad are 100% ours and 100% paid off.

3.     Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

Right now, I’m all set on maternity work clothes—ugh—and I feel pretty confident about my miscellaneous array of work wear. Although I’ve always wished that I could be a tad more fashionable at times, my wedding dress is a nice reminder of feeling perfect and beautiful for the man of my dreams.

4.     A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

Whether it’s my old faithful cheapo purse from Marshalls, my seasonal Steelers purse or my ancient North Face backpack, I’m not too concerned with what other people think of the bags I carry. As for suitcases, I bought a glaringly polka-dotted suitcase with an expansion zipper – good for a quick ID at the airport and fitting in more to take home than I brought with me in the first place. Umbrellas? I have a ton that are always in my car when it’s raining…and I need an umbrella to walk to my car.

5.     A youth you’re content to move beyond.

I’m not really sure what this one is supposed to mean, but I’m ready to completely stop caring what other people think of me – and to surround myself with loving people who are committed to being involved in our lives.

6.     A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

Oh, the stories I could already tell…

7.     The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.

Funny that this one is on the list because just today I checked in on my retirement accounts and was pleased to realize that I’m starting to “catch up” on planning for the future. Grad school was a must to get ahead in my field, but it’s nice to be leveling out and feel stabilized in my career.

8.     An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.

I have three email addresses—personal, job #1 (IJIS), and job #2 (ASU); an actual landline desk phone with a job #1/#2 combo message; and, a variety of bank accounts.

9.     A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

I have both a professional resume and an academic CV, both of which are rich enough that I can start to take off the onesy-twosy entries that are 10+ years old and don’t really say anything about me. I’m proud of my accomplishments.

10.  One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

Often times, this is the same person but, most of the time, I know who to go to when I’m in need of an open ear or a friendly shoulder. Time has shown me those people who, no matter what, have stuck around and become important parts of my life.

11.  A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

I have my own toolbox (thanks Dad Joel); we have a cordless set (thanks Dad Tom); and, I have a black lace bra.

12.  Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

I would classify this as my digital camera, an Olympus SP-590UZ 12MP Digital Camera with 26X Wide Angle Optical Dual Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.7 inch LCD. Right now, I’m waiting for the iPhone5.

13.  The belief that you deserve it.

I deserve everything I have right now, and work hard every day for the things that still elude me…

14.  A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

After too many year of sunburns and scary new freckles (and six years living in Arizona), I use a face lotion with SPF every day, and wear sunscreen anytime my lily white skin is exposed to the sun. I work out with a trainer twice a week, and go to prenatal yoga on the weekends. And, Matt and I are always talking about the future.

15.  A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

I love what I do. I love my husband. I love who I am. ‘Nuff said.

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By 30, you should know…

1.     How to fall in love without losing yourself.

Married and still me!

2.     How you feel about having kids.

We can’t wait to start our family. Get back to me on July 11th…

3.     How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

Quitting is easy when you have a plan. Breaking up isn’t an issue. Confronting a friend…I still have some work to do on this one.

4.     When to try harder and when to walk away.

I definitely need to find a better balance for this, especially when it comes to close, personal relationships. But, as far as work goes, I have the whole “work hard, play hard” thing figured out.

5.     How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

Check J

6.     The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.

Yes, sort of, absolutely (Guzzo's Patsy Tailor Shop in Oakmont)

7.     How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

Not an issue, but I do enjoy sometimes going to the movies by myself.

8.     Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.

Yoga definitely helps these days. So does eating a great meal with my hubby.

9.     That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.

I’m tall and thick, and don’t have a problem with it.

10.  That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

My childhood was awesome! And I’m not entirely done with being a kid…

11.  What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

I’m not sure these two concepts belong in the same sentence anymore. Money is important, but it isn’t the end all, be all of life. And I would do ANYTHING for Matt.

12.  That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.

There’s a time and place for everything, but you only get one set of teeth! I definitely felt like an adult when I told my dentist “Yes, I floss nearly every day” and knew I wasn’t lying!

13.  Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

I think I have a pretty good handle on this.

14.  Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

I think I know when an apology would mean something, and when it would cheapen the situation.

15.  Why they say life begins at 30.

I. Get. It.

I have the year I turned 30 tattooed on my wrist.