“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to
things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it
was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other
days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other
for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves...for growing up.” --Quote from The Wonder Years
A
friend of mine (thanks Meredith) posted an article on Facebook called Turning 30: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should
Know,
and it felt like I should respond. Though I’m actually turning 32 this year, I
was interested to see how I’d answer each of these items. For those of you
interested in a little introspection, I also highly recommend a book by Alison
James called The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35.
By
30, you should have…
1. One old boyfriend you
can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
I honestly can’t say
that I don’t have one old boyfriend I can imagine going back to; in fact, I
recently removed the last trace of an old flame by un-friending him on
Facebook. At this point, there’s just no need to keep in touch with him anymore
– I’m happily married, living in a home of our own, and expecting our first
child. As far as an old boyfriend who reminds me how far I’ve come (Matt and a
few people close to me know which boyfriend this applies to), I thank him for
teaching me all about everything I DON’T want in a relationship.
2. A decent piece of
furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Though we generally
don’t place a lot of value in buying big, new, expensive pieces of furniture, I
will say that my pull-out bed couch and our California king bed are two
wonderfully comfortable items that I’m glad are 100% ours and 100% paid off.
3. Something perfect to
wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Right now, I’m all
set on maternity work clothes—ugh—and I feel pretty confident about my
miscellaneous array of work wear. Although I’ve always wished that I could be a
tad more fashionable at times, my wedding dress is a nice reminder of feeling
perfect and beautiful for the man of my dreams.
4. A purse, a suitcase,
and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Whether it’s my old
faithful cheapo purse from Marshalls, my seasonal Steelers purse or my ancient
North Face backpack, I’m not too concerned with what other people think of the
bags I carry. As for suitcases, I bought a glaringly polka-dotted suitcase with
an expansion zipper – good for a quick ID at the airport and fitting in more to
take home than I brought with me in the first place. Umbrellas? I have a ton
that are always in my car when it’s raining…and I need an umbrella to walk to
my car.
5. A youth you’re
content to move beyond.
I’m not really sure
what this one is supposed to mean, but I’m ready to completely stop caring what
other people think of me – and to surround myself with loving people who are
committed to being involved in our lives.
6. A past juicy enough
that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
Oh, the stories I
could already tell…
7. The realization that
you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help
fund it.
Funny that this one
is on the list because just today I checked in on my retirement accounts and
was pleased to realize that I’m starting to “catch up” on planning for the
future. Grad school was a must to get ahead in my field, but it’s nice to be
leveling out and feel stabilized in my career.
8. An email address, a
voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
I have three email
addresses—personal, job #1 (IJIS), and job #2 (ASU); an actual landline desk
phone with a job #1/#2 combo message; and, a variety of bank accounts.
9. A résumé that is not
even the slightest bit padded.
I have both a
professional resume and an academic CV, both of which are rich enough that I
can start to take off the onesy-twosy entries that are 10+ years old and don’t
really say anything about me. I’m proud of my accomplishments.
10. One friend who always
makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
Often times, this is
the same person but, most of the time, I know who to go to when I’m in need of
an open ear or a friendly shoulder. Time has shown me those people who, no
matter what, have stuck around and become important parts of my life.
11. A set of
screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
I have my own toolbox
(thanks Dad Joel); we have a cordless set (thanks Dad Tom); and, I have a black
lace bra.
12. Something
ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve
it.
I would classify this
as my digital camera, an Olympus SP-590UZ 12MP Digital Camera with 26X Wide
Angle Optical Dual Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.7 inch LCD. Right now, I’m waiting
for the iPhone5.
13. The belief that you
deserve it.
I deserve everything I
have right now, and work hard every day for the things that still elude me…
14. A skin-care regimen,
an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life
that don’t get better after 30.
After too many year
of sunburns and scary new freckles (and six years living in Arizona), I use a
face lotion with SPF every day, and wear sunscreen anytime my lily white skin is
exposed to the sun. I work out with a trainer twice a week, and go to prenatal
yoga on the weekends. And, Matt and I are always talking about the future.
15. A solid start on a
satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of
life that do get better.
I love what I do. I
love my husband. I love who I am. ‘Nuff said.
By
30, you should know…
1. How to fall in love
without losing yourself.
Married and still me!
2. How you feel about
having kids.
We can’t wait to
start our family. Get back to me on July 11th…
3. How to quit a job,
break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
Quitting is easy when
you have a plan. Breaking up isn’t an issue. Confronting a friend…I still have
some work to do on this one.
4. When to try harder
and when to walk away.
I definitely need to
find a better balance for this, especially when it comes to close, personal
relationships. But, as far as work goes, I have the whole “work hard, play hard”
thing figured out.
5. How to kiss in a way
that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
Check J
6. The names of the
secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
Yes, sort of,
absolutely (Guzzo's Patsy Tailor Shop in Oakmont)
7. How to live alone,
even if you don’t like to.
Not an issue, but I
do enjoy sometimes going to the movies by myself.
8. Where to go -- be it
your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs
soothing.
Yoga definitely helps
these days. So does eating a great meal with my hubby.
9. That you can’t change
the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
I’m tall and thick,
and don’t have a problem with it.
10. That your childhood
may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
My childhood was
awesome! And I’m not entirely done with being a kid…
11. What you would and
wouldn’t do for money or love.
I’m not sure these
two concepts belong in the same sentence anymore. Money is important, but it
isn’t the end all, be all of life. And I would do ANYTHING for Matt.
12. That nobody gets away
with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
There’s a time and
place for everything, but you only get one set of teeth! I definitely felt like
an adult when I told my dentist “Yes, I floss nearly every day” and knew I wasn’t
lying!
13. Who you can trust,
who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
I think I have a
pretty good handle on this.
14. Not to apologize for
something that isn’t your fault.
I think I know when
an apology would mean something, and when it would cheapen the situation.
15. Why they say life
begins at 30.
I. Get. It.
I have the year I
turned 30 tattooed on my wrist.
